Why My Daughter May Never Have a Boyfriend

After shaking my head in disgust and asking Roo to excuse herself to the bathroom she said, “Mom, I’m not gonna go to the bathroom for just a fart!”

First of all child, that wasn’t just A fart. That was a FAAAAAAART.

Possibly the fart of the century.

And second, I tried. I tried and I failed but I take comfort in the fact that this behavior just might keep the boys away.

And that is perfectly fine with me.

Differences

Roo to Lu : The smell from your botox is disgusting.

Dear Roo,

There’s a big difference between botox and buttocks.

This is botox.

(image via hot celebrity)

That disgusting smell you just got a whiff of came from your sister’s buttocks.

Hope that clears the air. Pun intended.

Love,
Mom

Change of Plans

With Mr. Morrow on duty tonight I was really looking forward to coming
home and getting all snuggled up in my bed with the girls. They had
already climbed into bed and I was brushing my teeth when the laughter
began and I overheard the following conversation.

ROO : Eeeeeeeewwwww! And it was TOWARD you!

LU : I don’t care about farts. Let me smell that one. Quick! Let me
under the covers. (PAUSE) Ewwww, Sissy! You reek.

As I fought to contain my laughter in the bathroom the conversation
turned toward me.

ROO : Mom, aren’t you coming to bed?

ME : Ummmm…there’s been a change of plans. I think I’ll just sleep
in the garage tonight. Sleep tight, okay.

She Just Can’t Help It

We visited the pediatrician today. We were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor to come in when The Lu decided to pass gas, wait, no…that was a giant freaking fart.

When I told her she needed to control herself because we wouldn’t want the doctor to hear her she said, “Mom, if we have to fart we have to fart.”

I guess it is a natural bodily function and who would understand that better than a doctor?